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Gummi Bears & Their Insidious Plan To Destroy Humanity

January 11th, 2002 - 1:10 a.m.

I'm Currently Avoiding:

Amazingly enough, I don't really have anything to do and I'm bored. Actually, that's a lie. I have plenty of things I could do. Read six chapters of this and write two pages about it, read 100 pages of that and write 500 words about it and send it to a list-serv, read 185 stanzas of something else (in French no less) and maybe come up with three questions about it, or I could read a few short stories of a fourth thing. If I didn't feel like doing anything related to school and the ominous prospect of work that hovers anytime you do something like that, there are other things I could do. I wouldn't work on my website because I just finished doing hours and hours of that yesterday. For example, I could talk to people (I am doing that actually, but I wasn't earlier, and it's only two people). I could write some more of the story I've been working on intermittently since August. I could even play a game if I wanted to and had gotten rather desperate. I could also check my e-mail for the eight-thousandth time to see if I have any new spam that I don't really want to read. I could even cook if I didn't want to do anything that required much thought or the involvement of my higher faculties since I haven't exactly eaten a real meal all day and what I have eaten today has been almost entirely junk food.

However, I really have no inclination to do any of these things. I don't even really feel like updating this thing, I'm just doing it because I was at a loss for anything else to do. I haven't anything to say, nor do I have anything I particularly wish to illustrate or anything here, so there's really no point in my writing this at all. I don't know why I'm bothering, honestly.

No Wherewithal

wherewithal (n. WHAIR-with-awl)

: means, resources; specifically : money

Wherewithal has been with us in one form or another since the 16th century. It comes from where and withal (meaning with), and it has been used as a conjunction meaning "with or by means of which" and as a pronoun meaning "that with or by which." These days, however, it is almost always used as a noun referring to the means or resources one has at one's disposal -- especially financial resources, i.e., money.

I don't know, maybe I should blame it on going to bed at 6:30 this evening. It's just made me seriously apathetic with regards to...well, essentially everything. Ooohhh...Gummi Bears! I feel sorry for the gummi bears. Not because they're destined to be slaughtered and killed by human beings, no. I feel sorry for gummi bears because they're all designed with bad posture and if they don't fall over flat on their face, their backs curve to a rather alarming degree. Whoever designed gummi bears must've thought that being edible wasn't enough. They had to have scoliosis too. Gummi bears didn't have a big enough burden to bear in their opinion apparently. No, they had to add to it and make it so that it's easier for them to stand on their heads than it is for them to stand on their feet. Poor, poor gummi bears. I guess I'll just have to put them out of their misery by chewing them alive. Hmm...maybe they'd prefer to keep their weirdly curved spines and not be edible. Gummi bears...a convention in every bag. I just hope they aren't using their time in the bag to construct an elaborate plot culminating in the destruction of the entire human race and the rise of gummi bears to power as the supreme masters and overlords of the galaxy.



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