Mistress of the Darks Diary of Darkness

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Sucky Week Thus Far

November 12th, 2002 - 7:35 p.m.

I'm Currently Avoiding: Some Arcades Project section & Kiss of the Spiderwoman

Meh. It's just been a sucky day all together. In fact, this entire week so far's been pretty yucky. I updated awhile ago and now I'm doing it again because I can and I don't feel like being particularly productive right now. I don't want to work on my stories, I don't want to do much of anything like cook or such things, I just want to mindlessly spin this slot machine (I don't even want to do that really) and watch Buffy when it comes on in half an hour. Maybe that'll be a pick-me-up. Or maybe it'll be a completely lousy episode and it won't do anything at all to improve my mood. Both are possibilities. I won't know for sure which possibility actually happened until after I watch it. Of course, if it's a re-run, I'm going to be highly displeased. Right about now, I'm just not pleased with much of anything.

So Yeah. Yesterday, it was Monday and I think there was rain and I had an in-class presentation of my convolute proposal due which really sucked. I did a fair job of presenting my idea, but the written thing was lousy because it was just whatever I thought of in 20 minutes and typed down really quick. I know what I want to do in my head, but I haven't done much research for it yet. I should though. Because this is going to be a huge, experimental, freaking research project...not that that makes me happy, but that's what it's going to be. Blech.

Then today, well...there was already the previous entry where I was whining and that's pretty much enough to make my day bad. I thought it was Monday earlier, so obviously it's not a good day. Mondays are never good days. It just doesn't happen. It looks like Tuesdays are going to be fairly lousy as well. And I have a status report due on the convolute the 20th?!?! Shit. I'm really going to have to start working on that soon. Maybe I'll go to the library tomorrow. Enh, maybe not. Have I mentioned how much I hate the library? It's this completely ugly and monstrous building that looks like it should belong to some fascist regime and the inside is labyrinthine and horrid. Trying to find a book is like having a root canal or some other painful and annoying process. The people there who are supposed to be helpful and know things are snippy and act like you're doing them a disservice by asking for their help and being anywhere near their books. I really, really, really dislike it there. I'd almost rather shoot myself than go there voluntarily. Oh, and it's far away from where I live so I don't like it. The whole effort involved in going that distance just to come back is entirely unappealing.

So yeah. Hate the library, hate the weather, hate projects, hate writing papers, hate my life. That about sums it up. Gee...I'm not bitter, am I?

Meh. Maybe I'll feel better after Buffy. Maybe. And I have to cook yet tonight? Faugh. Food isn't appealing either. Freaking apathy. I'm going away now. Hope you haven't come away from this entry *too* depressed.

Oh, and earlier, when I was in the other class, the one I'm still avoiding Kiss of the Spiderwoman for, I felt obliged to talk because I've actually *seen* two of the movies mentioned in the book. And I made a statement that I couldn't really back up because I missed a few chapters in between the end and where I got tired of reading. So I sort of explained it another way and it was okay, but it was really awkward and I didn't enjoy it. Especially in the rain. I don't like to go outside when it's sunny and I don't like to go out when it's raining either. I just like to watch it fall from inside. That's good. But since I had to go outside, I was just all Rrr...and blech. Yeah. Going away now. Depressed and bitter is *such* a lovely combination...

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