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Vodka Commercials & Being Adventurous Are Bad Things

November 26, 2001 - 11:41 p.m.

I'm Currently Avoiding:

Song of the Day: "Here Comes the Rain Again" by Annie Lennox because it seems appropriately depressing or something.

Other Song of the Day: "It's Not Right But It's Okay" by Whitney Houston. 'Cause I feel that philosophy right there.

Well. Monday again. Sucks like usual. Whee. Yesterday was worse though. I'm never being adventurous again. After all, I was adventurous last night, and how did it end? Badly! So, no more adventuring for me. That's what I get for not being sheltered. Thanks a lot for nothing, people. I think I'll just stay sheltered for the rest of my life now. Sounds like a bloody marvelous idea to me. Friggers.

I HATE POP-UP WINDOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FRIGGING THINGS!!!!!!!!!!

If it weren't for you officious kids...(just doesn't have the same ring)

officious (adj. uh-FIH-shuss)

1 : volunteering one's services where they are neither

asked nor needed : meddlesome

2 : informal, unofficial

Don't mistake officious for a rare synonym of official. Both words stem from the Latin noun officium (meaning service or office), but they have very different meanings. When the suffix -osus (full of) was added to officium, Latin officiosus came into being, meaning eager to serve, help, or perform a duty. When this adjective was borrowed into English in the 16th century as officious, it carried the same meaning. Early in the 17th century, however, officious began taking on a negative sense to describe a person who offers unwanted help. This pejorative sense has driven out the original eager to help sense to become the predominant meaning of the word in Modern English. Officious can also mean of an informal or unauthorized nature, but that sense isn't especially common.

kapellmeister kuh-PEL-mye-ster or kah-PEL-mye-ster

(noun, often capitalized)

: the director of a choir or orchestra

As you may have guessed, Kapellmeister originated as a German word -- and in fact, even in English it is often (though not always) used for the director of a German choir. In German, Kapelle means choir and Meister is the German word for master. The Latin magister is an ancestor of both Meister and master, as well as of our maestro, meaning an eminent composer or conductor. Kapelle comes from cappella, the Medieval Latin word for chapel. As it happens, we also borrowed Kapelle into English, first to refer to the choir or orchestra of a royal or papal chapel, and later to describe any orchestra. Kapellmeister is used somewhat more frequently than Kapelle in current English, though neither word is especially common.

Argh! I don't ever want to hear another of those stupid commercials for Absolut Vodka as long as I live! It's a stupid idea for commercials to begin with, and then the ideas they come up with are just idiotic. Okay, so these inanities must be described and disected in detail. There are two versions of this commercial. Both have the same basic format of a woman calling into the answering machine for some...corporate headquarters for Absolut Vodka or something. As if they've got an answering machine instead of real people. Anyway, the machine urges people to spill their ideas for...something or other. So this one woman babbles on and on about how she had this date with this gardner guy last night and he'd just gotten some idiotic position, and she was all impressed, so she asked what he saw in the Christmas tree in the corner. Of course, the man whips out his shears, starts pruning away, and 30 minutes later there's an 8-foot tall bottle of Absolut. And in the other scenario, the woman babbles on and on about candles and how she likes to make her own, and that she likes to make candles in the shape of Absolut bottles (are they really that differently shaped from all the other bottles out there?), and then wrap them up as Christmas presents and give them to her friends and family. Then, when they say, "Oh, you shouldn't have gotten me a bottle of Absolut," she can say, "I didn't." And then she babbles some more about making candles. It's really annoying. Both women have supremely irritating voices that grate on my nerves, and like I said, I don't ever want to hear either of those commercials ever again. And now I'm going to stop ranting and leave.

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