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The Lousy Week Continues & Worsens

November 14th, 2002 - 7:49 p.m.

I'm Currently Avoiding: A Little Bit of Kiss of the Spider Woman, East-West, & several other things.

I wrote this last night at about 3 am and then my internet wasn't cooperating so I'm just going to post it now.

~~~

Well. My life this week has been extraordinarily shitty. Monday: Disgusting proposal presentation that I actually have to refine and rewrite for Friday/Monday whenever I get it finished.

Tuesday: Short Paper (aka the Bane of my Existence) was due which I wrote at the last minute (how typical). I had such a bad day that I mistook it for Monday, and the discussion on Kiss of the Spiderwoman (which I still haven't finished or gotten much further than 1/2 way through) was remarkably awkward. The one bright spot was that Buffy was interesting. Kind of bizarre, but interesting nonetheless. It'll be good if Spike *really* can bite people again. Because I'm tired of Buffy/Spike. That pairing annoys me. So. Maybe my week is improving? Let's move on and find out, shall we?

Wednesday: Have a small chat with my professor, that was okay. I'd slept for quite awhile and I wasn't having thoughts of self-demise anymore like I was Tuesday night with the whole bitterness and things. My night wasn't so bad...did dishes, did some writing, bought chocolate, had soup so cooking was easy, watched a bit of tv...not too terrible, right? I didn't get any of the reading for class done, but when do I ever? So it *seemed* like it was going to be a decent night and my week was looking up. Then what happened? Let me tell you what happened. I was typing away productively at that sequel I mentioned and decided I needed to save it. So I hit save and the drive starts to do its thing and then what happens? I suddenly get the blue screen of death, that's what! And then things were frozen and there were more blue screens of death and nothing was working and I couldn't get it to restart by ctrl/alt/del-ing it. So I had to completely turn off the system and then restart it. So I do that, fine, hunky dory. Then I try to open the file where I had saved my story, which by that point was over 1,000 words in length. When I opened it I saw a bunch of incomprehensible characters typed in Courier New something and that was IT. No 1,000 words plus song lyrics, just a bunch of random nonsense. There's absolutely nothing that can be done to get those words back and it seriously upset me. So my stupid computer made me cry. Because all of the writing I'd worked so hard on (even if it was for fun), was gone, like that. I cried so much that I gave myself a headache doing it too. As if I don't get headaches often enough without inducing them with things I can control. The only redeeming factor of this whole thing is that I don't have to completely rewrite the whole sequel (because if that was the case I'd scrap the whole fucking thing I promise you), because I sent the first almost 700 words to a friend of mine. So I only have about 1/3 of it to recreate. That doesn't make it any less upsetting, I'm afraid. 400 words is nearly a page and a half of typing. I'm not really looking forward to fixing that. I just...I don't have the words to express how unhappy it makes me when my computer does things like this. So I cried, I have a lot of stuff that I have to re-write and that's disappointing, and it's just been a really horrible week. So I'm going to go to bed now. Assuming I can even post this that is, because the connection's being retarded.

You know what? Fuck this. It's 3:30 in the morning and my connection's being a complete ass and not connecting to anything so if I hit post I'm only going to get a "cannot be displayed" message and it's not worth it. So I'll save this as a thing and it'll get posted eventually...possibly when I'm not feeling so bitter any more. Fucking computer, fucking connection, fucking conspiracy... ghdkfjweoihtuiejfnvobm,dcewjphuarejgnvsdklmaerfjsfuarngfmwnv!



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