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Bathtub Conspiracy...News At 2:14

November 24th, 2001 - 2:14 a.m.

I'm Currently Avoiding:

Ohhh! I almost forgot, I was going to rant about bathtubs. I'm tired and would like to go to sleep, but ranting about bathtubs seems like a better idea, before I forget to. I don't even care that this is only liable to be two paragraphs long. An update is an update is an update. Just like a rose by any other name...blah blah blah.

So. Bathtubs. I don't have anything against them, per se (Look people! I remembered to spell that right this time!), but I do have a problem with the way they are designed. So maybe I *do* have something against them. Oops. My apologies to all the bathtubs that just had their hopes of acceptance cruelly dashed in the space of a few sentences. Anyway, it has come to my attention that bathtubs are just Too Small. Well, maybe not if you have a gigantic jacuzzi that can easily hold a small army or something. But normal bathtubs are too small. They're not long enough and not wide enough either. I want to be able to float in the bathtub damnit! That means, in order to accommodate most people, bathtubs must be at least 6 & 1/2 feet long and maybe 5 feet wide. This also means that bathroom space must be increased in order for the bathtubs to fit fully within the bathroom. As for why all bathtubs should be at least that big, it has everything to do with why one takes a bath and how comfortable one wishes to be while one bathes. Yes, I just referred to myself indirectly or something. I know there's a technical term for that, but do I care? Not particularly. Anyway, I take a bath to relax, and in order to completely relax, I should be able to float in the bathtub, because then everything's loose and I don't have to worry about my neck being angled unnaturally and pressed against the porcelain just because there's no more space. Additionally, all future bathtubs should be made out of something other than porcelain. Porcelain is hard and uncomfortable to put your head and body on. So bathtubs should be made out of some sort of soft spongy material from now on. That would be good. Then no one will fall in the shower and crack their head open ever again. See? Comfortable AND slip/idiot-proof. No more bathtub deaths...unless they electrocute themselves. Good idea, huh? I thought so. It'll never happen though. Damn the bathtubs and their porcelain conspiracy.

I am now the proud? owner of a digital camera. It should arrive in about two weeks or less. When I get it, I might go picture-happy. We'll see if I'm still a proud owner after I use it a bit. Should be fun. I'm all excited and stuff. Or I would be if I was even slightly more energetic than I'm currently capable of being. But since I'm not, we'll just pretend I'm all excited and stuff for appearances sake. Whose appearances, I have no idea, especially since nobody's going to be seeing anything from here, but that's besides the point...quit distracting me with your tangents damnit!

I watched the VH1 broadcast of U2 Live: The Elevation Tour tonight. It was okay. I like U2...they're fun. And I'm very, very old. Just by gauging my musical tastes, I'm old. They should play "House of the Rising Sun" damnit! Darn radio station is playing a 1000 song all-request "weekend", and they still haven't played that. I also want to hear "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" even though they don't exactly play that kind of music on this station. I don't care about that fact, I want them to play that song anyway damnit! I heard the full version of "Alice's Restaurant" yesterday because I was awake at 9:45 in the morning. Interesting song...very long, I can see why they don't normally play the whole thing. Interesting enough to be the Song of the Day, in an informal way.

P.S. Today was "Black Friday"...um, why? Did the stock market crash or something while I wasn't looking? I mean, shopping the day after Thanksgiving can't be *that* bad, can it?

P.S.S. Once a month, someone writes a message on my message board. Can't there be messages more frequently than that? It looks so lonely when that happens.



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